Almost two years ago Ryan and I decided to start the
adoption process. We’d always
talked about adopting at some point, but we never knew we’d see it as our first
option. Ryan and I, up until that
point, had not tried to start a family in any way (adoption, conception,
fostering, etc.). When we read
Russell Moore’s book, Adopted for Life, and began studying God’s calling for
every believer to care for the orphan, it was clear to us, that our care for
the orphan was to adopt an orphan.
We never knew this would be our first choice, but time and time again
God continued to grow a fervent passion in our hearts for adoption. We had always heard about people
adopting after having biological kids, or adopting because they struggled with
infertility, but to adopt before even trying to conceive or knowing anything
about fertility? God’s plan for us
was different. We were ecstatic! To use adoption to really relay the
message of God’s adoption of us was exciting to think about. God has adopted us into His
kingdom. Us: wandering, fatherless,
children without an eternal home.
Adoption is such a pure example of this.
People told me in the beginning that adoption is not for the
faint of heart. Boy, were they
right. We have been blessed in so
many ways in the past two years, and I, as a woman, have been tested in so many
ways in the past two years. God
has been faithful and good, but there have been times where I have been very
weak. You see, when Ryan and I
decided to start the adoption process we also decided that we wouldn’t do
anything to prevent a pregnancy.
Well, in my head our adoption was going to go quickly, and if it didn’t
I would probably get pregnant in the meantime and we’d still get to start our
family soon. God’s plan was
different, though. Don’t take that
the wrong way, we were still going to adopt. We have a heavy heart for adoption and that truly is our
Plan A. Even with this great
passion and longing to adopt the enemy can still attack. In the midst of a joyous journey there
have been times of darkness; times where my selfish flesh has taken over and
pitied myself for not getting pregnant or for our adoption taking so long. God has reminded me time and time again
in His word, though to “rejoice in hope. Be patient in tribulation, be constant
in prayer.” (Romans 12:12) He also
has reminded me to rejoice in my suffering because it builds character and
endurance.
When I start to feel sorry for myself, I’m reminded of MY
mom. A woman who has lived through
more difficult mother’s days than I’d care to battle. 11 years until adopting a child, 14 years of infertility, a
mother’s day after losing her own mom, several mother’s days where my brother
was in jail or at an addiction treatment center, a mother’s day after losing
this same older brother when he was only 20, and now, a mother’s day where she
is the legal guardian of my 10 year old nephew. Through all those difficult mother’s days she has remained unwavering
in her faithfulness to God and He has remained faithful to her. I know without a shadow of a doubt
that God has led us to adopt. I
know that God is truly going to use our journey for His glory. I know today is a difficult day for any
woman who is in the middle of an adoption process, battling infertility, lost a
mother or a child, or for the woman who is waiting patiently on her mate in
order to start a family. But, God
is faithful, all knowing, and good.
He knows the desires of our hearts.
